I see you, but you don’t really see me.
I show you who I want you to see,
who I think you want me to be.
My very existence depends on your acceptance
I fear the death that is, rejection.
My life, is not my own.
I serve others, for love.
Myself, I disown.
My insides are boiling, trying to escape
I pace back and forth, I rock and shake.
Get me out of myself
Again, I flee.
Self destruction consuming me.
Letting it all go,
An illusion of freedom.
A slave to my emotions and inner demons.
Ill sabotage the good, and push you away
Ill test the limits and hope you’ll stay.
I cut myself, to interpret the pain.
Your understanding I’ll never gain.
Lock me up,
Make my decisions.
I can’t be trusted, with the life I am living.
I envy others.
I imitate.
I wear a smile, but all is fake.
The lost little girl.
Trying to find her way home.
Terrified to be alone.
My identity, I hope to find in you
I wait to be rescued, from my shame and depression
These things I’ll never tell you,
This is a Borderline’s confession.

Much love,
Oriana
xo
Keep healing, keep growing, keep finding your truth.

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